Jayne's Country Home
Things I have learned about Texas:
- Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the
- There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
- There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.
- Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.
- If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
- Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
- There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their
- A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
- The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25, then it stops
totally until October 2.
- Onced and twiced are words.
- Coldbeer is one word.
- People actually grow and eat okra.
- Green grass DOES burn.
- When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people
drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
- The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.
- When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.
- Fix-in-to is one word
- A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the cows, or swimming
- There ain't no such thing as"lunch". There is only dinner and then there's supper.
- "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two.
- Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
- "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?"
- You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You Know you are from Texas if:
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You've ever had to switch for "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
- You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
- You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store. (note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word....)
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables for your own car.
- You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
- You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup, and Tabasco.
- You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
- You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
- The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
- You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm
- You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
- You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.
- Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world".
- You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.